How to Deal with Complaints

complainingWritten by Jay Reynolds

I hate complaints!

You get to church and are getting ready for your ministry time to begin. You are in a great mood and ready for everything that will happen, because you have planned, prayed, and prepped. You might even be thinking, ‘What could go wrong?’

Then you check a message that says “Can we talk, I don’t quite like what happened last week.”

You become stuck in the middle of ‘What do I do about tonight?’ and ‘What do I do about this message?’

What do you do? What is your natural reaction? Confront the complainer head on or ignore the complainer?

It’s no fun, but the best response is to deal with the complaint rather than ignore it.

Here are 5 Ways to Handle Complaints

1. Move towards the complaint

For the vast majority of us, we want to run and hide. That won’t do anything for you, the other party involved, and/ or your ministry.

I set boundaries with this one. If people complain without leaving contact information, then you can’t do this step – move on. When contact info is left, then honor them by following up in a short timetable. The quicker you respond will assist in hopefully getting a positive reaction.

2. Step it up

Many people will use the easiest form of communication to share a negative comment. I always take the next step to being more personal. If an email or text is sent, then I make a phone call. If a message is on my answering machine, then I try to catch them in person.

This becomes important to the complainer because it shows that you are serious about listening.

3. Be prepared and confident

When you run towards the situation and step it up, you need to be prepared with what you are going to say.

Always share vision! You have an opportunity with someone engaged in hearing your thoughts. Point it back to why you do what you do, why your ministry exists, and how it is making an impact for the kingdom. Sometimes people don’t see things from your perspective.

Know your stuff. Do the research about people involved, the specific situation that happened, the why other options wouldn’t have worked better, and etc. Start with the complaint before you and bring definition to life with all the supporting information. You may or may not need it, but it doesn’t hurt to be prepared. It actually builds your own confidence in the situation.

4. Shut it down

If you know complaining is going on, then shut it down. If you hear someone making a seen in the middle of your ministry time, quickly remove them out of the room. Be polite and confident, simply say, “Do you mind if we chat about some things real quick? It would be a little easier to chat about it in the office over there.”

By removing complainers from the situation, it shows everyone that you are being a leader. Your initiative will speak volumes and it will stop further complaining from occurring.

The reality, people are complainers. We are used to being opinionated and getting our way. We are selfish and it shouldn’t surprise us when people share their raw thoughts about topics from their own perspective.

5. Follow Up

Build respect by following up with people. This will show that you do care about them and their thoughts.

People who share their thoughts openly have a level of care and passion. If you really want to be bold, ask them to give their thoughts about other areas of your ministry. Or ask them to be involved.

Just some thoughts about running after complainers in a respectful manner. Be patient. Don’t let emotions creep into the conversations. If you can’t prevent that, then please have a third party involved or even mediate for more delicate situations.

Take a deep breathe and get ready. It’s not easy, but it builds character. You are the leader of your ministry, so take charge and lead out.

jay reynoldsAbout Jay Reynolds: Hey, I’m Jay. I am a husband to Liz Reynolds, & we care for 2 of the greatest animals ever! Coali our Black Lab & Citgo is our Orange Tabby. My days are filled up by working at Hope Community Church with the Middle School Ministry. The crazy thing, someone put me in charge of running our Mid-Week program called Hazardous, which  is an outreach & worship service on Wednesday nights for Middle Schoolers in the Raleigh Area.

2 Replies to “How to Deal with Complaints”

  1. Jacob Nelson

    This is good stuff. One thing that our Lead Pastor is always telling us, is to ask a simple question before we start dealing with the complaint.

    “Are you going to diffuse or detonate?”

    Is this complaint the mountain to die on? Is this complaint so far out of line that you’re willing to make a scene about it. So far, in my short time in ministry I’ve learned that almost all complaints, immediately when I receive them, are DETONATIONS! Then when I get up and walk around for a few minutes, go get some coffee, sit back down and re-read the email or text, it has turned into a DIFFUSE situation.

    Not everything is a diffuse, sometimes, like you said, we have to hold our vision and hold our ground. But, I think you can diffuse almost anything and not necessarily admit that you were wrong or won’t do whatever it is you did again a million times!

    1 Response
    1. Terry Goodwin

      Excellent point Jacob! It is clearly about communication i the face of a complaint. Communicating (diffusing) can definitely overcome many obstacles. Thanks for sharing!

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