Ugly Ducklings: Middle School Developement
Written by Dan Istvanik, one of the awesome writers of our junior high teaching series
Be sure to get the four week junior high series, Encounter, for FREE! Yes, that is right, for FREE. Click here to instantly get the Encounter series
A few months back I sat down with my daughter and read her the story of the “Ugly Duckling” for the first time. I was amazed at the fact that she had never heard the story. Somehow I had never read it to her. As I read the story, it struck me that it held so many echoes of middle school/Jr. high ministry.
If you do not know the story, it is a simple story of a little ugly ducking as he struggles with who he is and as he grows up. It starts off with a little lost egg that hatches into a family of ducks. The little duckling struggles with the fact that he looks different than the rest of his duckling siblings. The story follows his awkward life, development, and search for identity until he discovers he is not a duck at all but a beautiful swan.
Even as I write that very brief summary, it once again resonates with my heart and call to middle school/Jr. high students. At the beginning of 6th grade we are given students that are just hatching in every way and at the end of 8th grade we move them on as they begin to realize the beautiful swans they are to become.
Little Lost Eggs: 6th Grade
They come in sheltered and covered in the protective coverings of childhood. They are anxious to see what is outside the egg they have lived in up to this point. They peck away at certain pieces and peek out in late elementary, but stay safe inside until it is time.
They walk into the first days of our youth ministry scared and apprehensive. Parents and other adults up to this point have kept them in shell of childhood as long as possible. They have parents that hover and “sit” on any attempt to break out into the big bad world. Sure enough however they finally are too big to be contained any longer. In every way, physically, emotionally, socially and spiritual they crack open the concrete world they have lived in for so long to emerge into a new world of abstract discovery.
Our role as youth pastor/leaders/workers in 6th grade is to welcome them into the first real steps of developing into adults. They come in looking a bit messy and unruly in so many ways. They are not sure where they belong or even if they belong. We have the opportunity to welcome and introduce these little lost ones to what is and can be.
Ugly Ducklings: 7th Grade
This is the middle stage of the story of middle school/Jr. high in every way. Even as I look at our ministry’s photo directory, it is even physically obvious who the 7th grade students are. As one of my volunteers said, it is the “hit with the ugly stick” year, but it is not just the physical development. It is the hard point of the transition spiritually, emotionally and socially. Quickly fading are the days of clear black and white, simple answer faith. This is the beginning of the ugly hard struggle to find spiritual identity and make choices for themselves.
This is the time of the social search, as they walk through their world seeking a place to belong. This is the time of mental search as they reflect in the pools of thought that flood them. Here is the time when they start to decide if this all makes any sense.
We have this golden chance as spiritual leaders in their lives, to affirm them in their struggle. We can move them to see the physical changes that they are going through as only temporary. We have opportunity to stand beside them and stir up the reflective pool of thought they are staring into, encouraging them not to let this define them forever. Above all else we get to get down in the mud and muck of the struggle spiritually to help them rise up out of it ready to claim a personal identity in Christ.
The Beautiful Swan: 8th Grade
Somewhere along the way, we look away for a moment turning back around to find the feathers and fur has fallen away. Maybe it is over summer, or at another moment, but we begin to see the beauty of the swan appear. The 8th grade year is when the ugly begins to be left behind in an unwanted pile. Ours students finally catch glimpse of their true selves. They have the epiphany moments of who they really are…who God really has created them to be
Understand we might not see all of it. We may not see it until later on into high school or maybe even college. This is the moment though. Much like the little lost ugly duckling, our students look around and see beautiful swans. They watch them swimming in the deep end of life, graceful and beautiful; something deep inside calls to them. They have that moment of awakening realizing that is who they might be or want to be.
This is our moment as well. This is our last and biggest moment in middle school/junior high ministry. We have built the foundations and prepared them for this moment, now is the time to push them to go. We need to dig deep to point and jump at the swans of our church and community. This is our moment to be beautiful swans as well. We need to be who God has created us as leaders to be as well. We need to not be afraid to stand before them as examples of what is looks like to live as beautiful Christ-Following creations. We need to lead by example and by life. Like Paul said, “ Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal…” (Philippians 3:12), we are not done yet either, but we have the ministry of leading, pushing toward the goal.
Written by Dan Istvanik, one of the awesome writers of our junior high teaching series
Be sure to get the four-week junior high series, Encounter, for FREE! Yes, that is right, for FREE. Click here to instantly get the Encounter series
Some final thoughts-Know that this is taking on a wide span of students and development. Each student goes through this at their own pace, but know each will go through it. The world is shifting and adolescent development with it. This is not an in depth study or scientific assertion, this is simply a spiritual challenge. What I did 18 years ago working with Sr. Highers, I now in many ways am doing with 6th, 7th, and 8th graders. Quite honestly the stages that I described use to cover the wider span of the youth ministry years. If some of the recent studies hold true, students will choose their life’s faith before their 9th grade year. My hope and prayer is that you will look deeply and honestly at the students you minister too. Beyond the ugly ducklings they are, to the swans that they can become.